October 17, 2005

National Lampoons Seneca Lake Wine Tour

This past Saturday, 18 of Rochester's finest crazy A-listers decided to embark on a quiet little wine tour along Seneca Lake. Jenny Dewitt was the brain child behind this adventure, planning everything from the wineries to the short bus to the appetizers to the bail money set aside (you never know). People traveled far and wide, Neal flying in from VT, Meg, Pete, Christine, Nate, and Glynn driving up from Henrietta, Jaclyn and Lauren arrived from Twelve (Melrose Place), Dmitriy straight from Russia, and even Sarah and Matt arriving from Perinton.

It was a joyous morning filled with drinking momoses, listening to the wine tour cd compilations i made (aka Gold Digga on repeat) and checking out the views of Seneca lake while we drove by. And then there was the first stop: Fox Run. Everyone was excited to start sampling wines. Gus was the first to get warned that you can't just walk over to another table and expect to sample wine free again. Then Dmitriy (sporting a pleasant hooded sweatshirt that said "Alkatrez Psycho Ward Out Patient") found another private tasting area, which everyone hopped over to. Buzz is going, people start buying bottles and its time to head on the bus. PUT ON GOLD DIGGA. (note our bus starts to drive away with 20 white idiots yelling "we want prenups" as it passes by all the Hummer limos filled with them Rich folk) Everyone decides to just open up the bottles that they bought and start chugging wine! Little did we know the next stop was 2 minutes away.. Just kill your drink Neal yelled so we can go get some more. Next winery: No clue what the name is. I just remember there was an Knights Helmut that gus decided to put his tasting glass in and open it every time the lady would refil. Matt starts making fun of the Technicolor Dreamcoat hanging on the door only to find out thats the uniform for the ladies working! Yada yada yada, taste more wine.

Bus starts up again. Kanye's singing. We're killing bottles of wine. You get the point.

Next stop: lady says theres a 10 min wait for us. Normal people go back to the bus. Nate and Dmitriy decide to start harassing the wine tour girl and then somehow Neal comes to the bus and says we might be kicked out before we even enter the wine tasting! Somehow the problem gets resolved and we hit up the tasting. Very good stuff.


Bus starts up again, everyone fills their wine glasses. 20 seconds later the bus is already at the next stop (conveniently located IN THE SAME BUILDING-- different winery?!) We kill our glasses and enter. The biggest biatch in the world is working the tasting table. Gus Brad and I are sitting by the window as she comes around and basically tells us to shut up or else we dont get to taste. She ID's all of us and Matt says "thank you for the ID, its actually quite flattering. After 21 life goes downhill anyways". The lady just stares at him with the evil eye. Not amused. As she's filling up the glasses down the table all of a sudden, brad leans against the wall and you just hear a glass crack. Haha instead of everyone being nonchalant about it, I'm yell OMG BRAD what was that?!?! (he was trying to steal one of the tasting glasses) Brad decides to get the hell out of there cos the lady would definately punch him in the face-- glass clinking in his back pocket as he leaves. I just grab a glass and walk out (more wine on the bus anyways!) Christine and Meg and Glynn are already the first to pass out (I believe its 3pm at this point???) Then Pete comes over to where Lauren and I were sitting on the bus and says "Hey dont worry, i already told the bus driver i'd hook him up with booze if he needs some" Lauren flips out "PETE he's our driver!" Pete just goes "So?"
Brilliant!


A couple of more drunken stops, Nate and Matt keep wrestling in 2 of them getting them escorted out. Finally we get on the bus and decide if we want to stop at the last winery or not. Turner decides to pick up a 30 pack in the meantime. The last stop was a little foggy for me, i just remember people talking about tasting wood in their wine and me laughing ( i think they were going for Oak). The ride home, everyone was either passed out, or killing more bottles of wine. Vig I think you really did drink your case of wine that you are missing, because i remember i threw a glass at both gus and turner (cos they were wrestling) of the Liquid Wisdom stuff.

We get back to Jennys Apt where the bus drops us off. Some how Jenny and half the crew end up going to the bars, but Gus and I definately walked home and watched Its Always Sunny in Phillidelphia for an hour, before Brad and Tommy stopped for a few, to drink then take off to the bars. Wine tour was definately a success! We should plan one every week!!!!!!!


Sidenote: The emails started flying the next day with everyone asking where all the wine we bought went?

Um yeah... it's gone.


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