March 23, 2006

Rochester Barbie!

Some trendy little Rochestarian made up an email thats been forwarded around the city that I thought was pretty funny. My little sent it over to me this morning, thought I'd post it for ya. (For out of towners, most of my friends and I live in the Park Ave area)

Subject: Mattel Toy Company has announced the released of models of
limited editions Barbie Dolls made exclusively for the Rochester Market
just in time for Spring '06.

Pittsford Barbie: This spoiled Princess Barbie is sold exclusively at
Eastview Mall. She comes with 45 credit cards, an assortment of Kate
Spade handbags, a white BMW, a fluffy white lapdog, and a perfect cookie
cutter house. Options include tummy tuck, face lift and a workaholic Ken
to support her high maintenance habits.

Mendon Barbie: This trendy homemaker Barbie is free with any new Locust
Hill Country Club Membership. Barbie comes equipped with a silver Lexus
SUV. She gets lost easily outside of $750,000 neighborhoods and has no
full time occupation besides gazing at the lawn & pool maintenance guys.
Traffic jamming video cell phone sold separately.

Park Avenue Barbie: This annoying clueless NYC wannabe yuppie
Barbie can be purchased at Parkleigh or through City Newspaper. Barbie comes
with a souped up yellow Hummer 2, Starbucks Cup, library card and a homosexual Ken.

Greece Barbie: This brassy, gum-chewing, jet black dyed puffy hair Barbie
can be purchased on, can't get there, make that Long Pond.... no, can't
get there, make that English, can't get there, make that, can't
get there, ...Just look up and down Route 104 for the darn toy..... Barbie comes with
a "2 sizes too small" leather miniskirt, unpedicured feet, sandals with 5 inch heels,
12 pieces of fake gold jewelry and a Chrysler 300 with a rosary looped around the rear
view mirror.

Avenue D Barbie: Available at Aldi's between 9:00 to Noon the first day of the month
only. This recently paroled Barbie comes with 8 children, a slightly used 9 mm
handgun, house arrest ankle bracelet, Ray Lewis knife, pager number of her
caseworker and Cadillac with tinted windows & working methadone lab. Options include specialized gang colors and the 8 fathers of the 8 children.

Three One Five Barbie: Ain't got no stores in Wayne County to buy it.....But, keep
trying....This Barbie's Father is also is her Uncle and her Uncle is also her Cousin
and her Cousin is also her Brother and her Brother has a different father.....She
comes in Wrangler blue jeans,and a NASCAR T-Shirt. She can chug a six pack
of Coors Light and spit tobacco. She drives a pick up truck with a Confederate
Flag in the cap window.

Chili Barbie: This culturally diverse Barbie can be purchased in Chili, Gates Chili,
Wheatland Chili, North Chili, or Churchville Chili. Pull Barbie's string and she says,
"It's CH-EYE-LYE, not CHILL-EE". Barbie comes dressed in camouflage riding an ATV on railroad tracks. Pet pit bull included.

Webster Barbie: This Barbie is only sold door to door as an athletic fund raiser.
Barbie comes with 3 different Sport Booster Club gear. Barbie can easily be turned
into Soccer Mom, Football Mom or Hockey Mom. Webster Barbie shops at Wegman's
daily and knows what everyone else in Webster is doing, how they do it, when they did it,
where ! they did it, with whom they did it with and how much everything cost!

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