July 16, 2008

1,000th Post.. my hands hurt to type

So there I was trying to come up with a witty clever topic for my 1,000th post when all of a sudden I see my gmail notifier pop up with a message from Legally Heidi "You were hit up on bostonist!!".. what?! I clicked on the site and there my little link was.

Kick ass!

Oh how this little blog has turned into such a fun outlet for the silly useless topics inside my head! I'd like to thank Britney Spears, because without her, this blog would never be! 3 years ago I was watching the hit show Chaotic and the commentary just started brewing. I ended up writing a guest post on my friend Buddha's blog (which unfortunately is no longer up and running). I started to realize how fun it'd be to have a blog. There is way too much goofy random shit going on in the world (especially Hollywood), this could be fun.

So here, in honor of this thousandth post, is the EWesque inspired review of Britney Spears show Chaotic. Still waiting for the sequel to come out...

And a special thank you for all the cool people who read this blog.

MAY 18th, 2005

May 18, 2005. Let me be the first to admit.. I was so excited about watching this show. I always thought that the media kinda turned Britney into this trashy trashy girl by taking all those bad pictures of her in US Weekly, Star, etc... But no, after watching her show I realized that she really IS just a dirty gross trashball. She got 5 million dollars, you would think she could pay a guy at least 50 cents an hour to video tape her life, instead she opted to do it herself so the whole time you are dizzy, (just like in the blair witch project). then, 45 minutes later into the "show" she mentioned a goofy gold digging backup dancer's name Kevin. So she whisks him off to italy or wherever-- just like the softcore porn fairy tales, to go hang out with her while she's on tour. The first night that he is there, it is so obvious that they are high on something and they are talking about like commitment and marriage and what his thoughts are. He goes "I think... i think love is love." Brilliant. i've now realized i've wasted 47 minutes of my life that i will never get back. so the next day, britney is dancing around zitfaced and all saying, i'm so glad i had sex!!!! (side note: like 79% of her audience is 13 year old girls... class act) So talking to her dog faced asistant felicia, which her name should be falatio, she tells her that she had sex twice (this msg is subliminally told by britney holding up two fingers after the assistant asked how many times they had sex). 5 minutes later when britney is getting her makeup done (which i may also add she has 4 lbs of cover up added every time before a show --6 lbs for photoshoots) she starts bragging to the guy makeup artist that she is so happy that she's finally had sex again. and then says to the camera i've had sex 3 times today!

Oh man, there goes 7 more minutes of my life.

i am now stating that newly weds was one of the greatest pop
couple reality shows ever (besides when colin and amaya were dating on Real World Hawaii). The fact that britney tried to completely copy Simpson and Lachey to try and get the iconic status jessica simpson now has shows that she SHOULD quit her day job, and become a stay at home mom, and by that i mean, never leave your house britney, unless you put a paper bag over your head.


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19 comments:

WeezerMonkey said...

For the existence of your blog, I would also like to thank Britney Spears.

But that is the only thanks she deserves.

Chet Of The Undead said...

Britney Spears really is the gift that keeps on giving...

Much like herpes...or maybe like a really REALLT phat (and fat) beef, bean and double cheese burrito...or uhh...something along those lines.

Mucho fantabulous blog babe, mucho fantabulous! B)

amandabtv said...

Congrats! And now I'm kind of sad I could never bring myself to watch Chaotic...or wait, I'm not, but I'm glad I got to read your take. I'm sure it was much more entertaining than the real thing.

transienttravels said...

That is so many posts, congrats!

Andrea said...

OMG that Brittney post was freaking hysterical... trashball. Where do you come up with this stuff! Priceless!

Sara Jane said...

So many great posts, keep them rolling! Congrats!

Hillary said...

congratulations! I am in awe of your 1000 posts.

Katelin said...

woot woot, 1000 posts.

and i never watched chaotic, but i feel like i got enough right there from your recap.

thank you britney, thank you.

Lacey Bean said...

CONGRATS!! I was looking at mine which is almost at 300 and was like wow. You definitely got me beat!!

R said...

Congrats on you 1000th post!! I'll admit I watched Chaotic. I'm not proud of it, but I watched. And my stomach still wrenches at the thought of its stupidity.

Nanette said...

Congrats on 1,000!

I'm 45 away myself. :)

emrlds said...

colin and amaya??? ahhhh best ever. well, the best kind of the worst, haha.
congrats on 1g! and bostonist, because i heart them.

KT said...

i love your blog. :)

brookem said...

1,000 posts?! you're a rockstar! i love that you mentioned colin and amaya!

Yiayia said...

It is great that your blog only gets better, even after 1000 posts....so does the blogger!

Golightly said...

congratulations!! so awesome

Golightly said...

congratulations!! so awesome

Ali said...

(i finally signed up so i can post again....yay!)

I miss Newlyweds. I would totally rent it on DVD if possible. That and My So-Called Life.

LBIC said...

I also want to thank britney spears for the constant laughter she provides in my life.

congrats on the 1000th post!!! smile wit yo eyez, bb!