December 17, 2008

The Smoke Clears..

I'm embarrassed to admit I was once a casual smoker.yuck, gross!.. you may say to yourself. OR instead think 'well I only smoke when I drink' so that doesn't count. It does. Don't kid yourself.

Never had a cigarette before sophomore yr in college, and was totally against it. But then joining a sorority and caving into peer pressure, low and behold.. an immature Julie Q, smoking her first butt in a bar... how was that ever legal?!? I'm coughing just thinking about it

Stressing out in college about everything under the sun, they almost became my bad news bear friends. First it was the Marb Lights, just like Carrie Bradshaw in SATC, then one day I couldn't stand them, so I did what any stupid person would do.. switched to P-funks.My boyfriend-then fiance-now husband used to HATE IT when I'd sneak a ciggy out with friends. As a good partner should.

After college, I won't smoke* anymore.
When I get engaged, I won't smoke anymore.
After my wedding, I won't smoke anymore.
After NYE, I won't smoke anymore.
When I turn 25, I won't smoke anymore.

These were all little goals I had set for myself.
*note, it was never as serious like a was only a few smokes when mingling with other socialites on the wknd- but that was just as bad in my eyes*

5 years or so ago, my mom treated me to a very nice mother/daughter weekend in Florida to hit up the beach and escape from the northeast, coincidentally the same weekend my dad was getting remarried. Sitting there @ happy hour and all I wanted to do was have a cigarette. I'd have to show pure willpower not to smoke in front of my mom, who would've been absolutely crushed if she knew her daughter was a 'smoker'. Finally I caved.

'Mom, I might have to go pick up a pack of cigarettes' I mumbled, wondering WHAT her reaction would be.

She looked at me confused and surprised.. like I was being completely sarcastic and goofy as usual.

'um.. WHAT was that?'

and after I told her I was a horrible daughter who sometimes smoked, she shrieked...
'Julie, only you would know how to get my mind off this crazy weekend by telling me this news!'

and after a slight moment of silence, she said..

'Listen to me.. I'm here to show you that you can and will get through this without a cigarette!'

...Which she then kindly reminded me that she'd never put a single penny in my bank account again during college if i kept up this nasty habit.

I never had one that night.The point of this post is... its been a year to the day that I quit smoking once and for all. I remember the date only because I was at a friend of a friend's Christmas party where I did not know a lot of people and figured I'd bum a ciggy to socialize. I felt so alone on that deck puffing away, realizing this was totally going to suck in the morning, and that I looked like a complete ridiculous pathetic moron that looked straight out of an ABC After School Special. It was then that I had my 'aha' moment and knew it would be my last.And while it was hard in the beginning, I don't really think about it anymore when I'm out and about. My friends rock and have said 'Nitsh Nitsh' in my attempts to let try and take a puff of theirs (during the first couple of months). All which I was thankfully denied.

So for those of you who 'only have a smoke when you drink' let this be a JQ Lounge public service announcement that its a terrible terrible habit, and I hope you know that it IS possible to stop cold turkey and that the cravings will go away. And don't wait til NYE for making that resolution, because that will only build you up for failure.

Happy Anniversary to my lungs recovering from my poor decision to abuse them and a Happy Healthy Breath of Fresh Air to yours.

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WeezerMonkey said...

I am proud of you, Julie! I'm going to send this link to my friend. :)

10yearstogether said...

I am the ^friend^. This is so hard. I've tried quitting so many times, only 3x seriously. And I've failed each time. I've become a closet smoker and it's sad and humiliating. Thank you for the inspiration. I'm bookmarking this post. =)

Yiayia said...

Happy are your eardrums that I never knew your habit!

Hillary said...

Congratulations! I used to be a social smoker, which morphed into me being someone who smoked when drinking AND when stressed (which was, um, all the freaking time.) I am so happy that I no longer smoke - it's been over 2 years without a single puff and I feel SO GOOD.

Katelin said...

woo woo for julie. i want to pass this on to so many of my friends that i think need that extra push every once and a while :)

Sarah said...

I'm very proud of you.

It's especially good to hear after getting news that my friend's mom only has about 3 more weeks to live because of throat cancer :(

Andréa said...

SO glad you quit!! YAY for you lungs!!

susan said...

What a good post, Julie. My first cigarette was in 7th grade - it was a Marlborough red and it was 100 percent peer pressure.

I didn't keep it up.

willikat said...

proud of you. i'm glad you quit. i hate being preachy about it, but once you see someone go through lung cancer (if you didn't get it before then), it's pretty hard to justify it. ever. and non-smoking lung cancer is on the rise, too...some could be from second hand smoke. higher in women. all the more reason for women (men too) to avoid it altogether.

debbieQ said...

so what deep confession do I get next year to make me want to cry...oh yea, great hearing it from yiayia btw...

Tia said...

good for you.

i used to be a smoke-when-i-drink-er but i don't do that anymore. it's a hard habit to break, even if you're not addicted.

Tanya said...

Good for you, Julie! Thats awesome! I also used to be a "social" smoker--only when drinking beer (oddly enough, never with wine!)

I decided that it was a really ridiculous thing to do and also quit cold turkey almost 18 months ago. I havent even been fact, cigarettes completely disgust me now.

Be very proud of yourself!

notyourplainjane said...

So proud of you!

eperry said...

wow, good for you for quitting! i used to smoke in high school (had my first cigarette in junior high but does it count if you never inhaled and instead just wasted them)but quit once i got to college. ironic since the hubs, who i was dating at the time, is a smoker. but, my mom is now celebrating 1 year since she found out she had lung cancer and is cancer-free! if that doesn't put it into perspective, i don't know what does.

Nanette said...

I'm so proud of you, too! I've never smoked a cigarette - not just 'cuz I have asthma but because I think it's a disgusting habit. And I'm not ashamed to tell anyone (but my smoker boss) that it's a disgusting habit. Good for you, Julie Q! You just earned more brownie points in Nannersp's book!

Golightly said...

Whoo hoo, good for you! Happy Anniversary on dropping the habit, way to go ;)

R said...

Congratulations JQ! I'm so proud of you. *high five*

Matt said...

as soon as you quit the crystal meth, you'll truly be 100% smoke free! seriously, your teeth are looking pretty haggard these days. i kid, her teeth are pristine.

brookem said...

good for you julie!

(is that jennifer aniston?! nooo!)